President Obama used the State of the Union address last Thursday to assert his authority, defend his behavior and restate his opinions to a national and congressional audience that both cheered and jeered him. No matter where your political view falls on the spectrum between Progressive Liberalism and Traditional Conservatism, the speech lacked the substance that we have come to expect from President Obama.
Since President Obama has taken office, the deficit and the unemployment rate have risen. Obama used the State of the Union address as an opportunity to tell us that these numbers are the result of the previous Bush administration and that it was like this when he “walked in the door.”
Yes, Mr. President. We were all here for the last eight years. We know that this mess we are in is not all your fault, but it is now partially your responsibility. You knew what you were getting into when you signed up for the job. Please move on. I would have preferred that the bullet point list of Bush failures was striked from the speech. Instead Obama should have met the mandate of the Constitution to “give to the Congress information of the state of the union, and recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient. ”
The National Healthcare debate has been at the forefront of American politics since Obama took office. About this he said, “[B]ut if anyone from either party has a better approach that will bring down premiums, bring down the deficit, cover the uninsured, strengthen Medicare for seniors, and stop insurance company abuses, let me know. Let me know. Let me know. I'm eager to see it.”
Not only is this type of rhetoric condescending, but it reduces confidence in the Obama plan. Are you saying that this is the best you’ve got so we should try it? Inspire confidence in me, Mr. President. Tell me why your plan is the best, not simply that there could be something better but we haven’t found it yet. If you really think your plan is great for America, then tell us so and leave it at that.
Who could forget the pointed jab that Obama took at the Supreme Court “with all due deference to separation of powers” as the camera zoomed in on the justices? Yes, Obama has the right to his opinion. So too does the Supreme Court have the right to their rulings. Speak your opinions, Mr. President, but choose more wisely your time and place.
When President Obama took the Oath of Office citizens flocked to his inauguration. Democrats and Republicans alike knew that change was coming in one form or another. We didn’t expect one of the great political orators to reduce himself to petty excuses and sarcasm. President Obama saw 12% decrease in the first and fourth quarter approval ratings of 2009.
Over the last decade inquiry commissions, wars and a recession have left us skeptical. We want ‘change we can believe in,’ Mr. President. Americans have had enough of sarcasm and excuses. Let’s move on.
At first, I wanted a Kindle. No let me rephrase that, I lusted after the kindle! However, I didn't buy it because there were so many features that I thought were obviously needed in an ereader that did not exist in the Kindle. If I buy a book with color pictures, I want to see them in color. If I read in bed at night, I don't want to have a seperate book light. Then, along came the Barnes and Noble star-the Nook. It feels much better to the hand, and I like that it is linked to my favorite book store. However, the cutest covers (via Kate Spade) are almost as expensive as the Nook itself. Still, I was going to buy it. The piles of books on my nightstand, coffee table and overflowing from my bookshelf were begging to be consolidated in a simple, concise way. Then, I heard that Apple was going to unveil a new tablet PC with eReader capabilities. Today, Apple did just that! The new iPad is out. Though I agree that the name sucks (sounds too much like a type of feminine care product), it finally has what I have been loking for. I loved my iPod touch, so I switched to AT&T to get an iPhone. I love my iPhone, so now I can take it one step further and get an iPad. And at less than $500 to start-it won't hurt my budget too much either. Color displays, Internet, and iTunes at my fingertips. What do you all think?!
It is about 5 o’clock in the evening on a Sunday night. My husband and I have done everything over the weekend except grocery shopping, and it can’t wait because we were out of 3 basic staples in our house: milk, cereal and toilet paper. So, we head to the local super-store and spend at least an hour filling the basket to the brim. On the way out, we pass by the toy section and allow our (then-three year old) son, Bobby to pick a toy. Therein laid the problem. He was allowed to pick ‘a’ toy. One. Uno. Not two, not a set, not just one small extra. One. This did not rest well with my already tired son, and the result was a full-blown tantrum in the middle of the aisle. Screaming, crying, begging, kicking and refusing to move were just the beginning. In the midst of this melt-down, somehow the 24 pack of Dr. Pepper cans on top of my basket popped open. 24 soda cans, some spewing Dr. Pepper in a volcanic like explosion began rolling down the aisles, under the shelves…everywhere! No one bothered to help me. They just looked at me and shook their head then pretended not to notice. So did I. I picked up my son, left the basket and destruction behind me and bolted from the store.
That was lesson number one in parenting for me. If my child has a tantrum-it is my fault. That day in the store, not only was Bobby tired, hungry and stressed out, but so was I. Prevention became my goal, and here are the things that worked:
1.)Set a routine for yourself and your child and stick to it! You may be the type of person who could fly to Paris for the weekend and never look back, but the minute you had kids you gave up that liberty for at least the first 10 years. Young kids need a routine. They need to wake up, sleep, eat and play at regular intervals throughout the day. That doesn’t mean that you should set the alarm clock for 6 am sharp, serve breakfast at 6:30 and have structured play from 7 to 8 on the dot, every day. It does mean however, that they should have a general idea of what comes first, second and last in your day. Breakfast after walking up, a walk after lunch, bath before bed.
2.)Make sure everyone gets enough sleep. I don’t know about you, but when I am tired-I am not happy. The same goes for kids. Your child needs a certain amount of sleep each day based on their age. If they do not get this sleep, they will not function the way they should. They will be fussy, grumpy and argumentative. Save yourself the trouble and put them to bed at a decent hour and make sure they get enough sleep.
3.)Play with them already! Kids want your attention, and they will find a way to get it. So, put down your cell phone, turn off the TV and computer (after your read my blog!), and play with your kids. Color a picture, read a book, play hide n’ seek or just dance like fools in the living room. Even a 10 minute game of “I Spy” can make a child of any age feel important. These will not only be some of the best memories that you and your kids have together, but having a playtime with your kids won’t leave them screaming for your attention when you really do need to get something done.
4.)Anticipate their needs. If your child is hungry or will be due for a snack while you will be out, bring a treat with you. Going to a doctor’s office with a long wait? Bring something along for them to look at or do, and reward their good behavior. Make sure they have on clothes and shoes that fit, that they are clean, fed and hydrated. This rule applies not only to going out, but also to just hanging out at home. I feel better when I have had a shower, have on clean clothes and a little makeup than I do just lounging around in my pajamas.
5.)And when they still have a meltdown, just laugh! We all need a good cry every now and then, and kids are no exception. Give them a hug a kiss and a pat on the head. Remember, this is THEIR tantrum, not yours. They are eventually going to have to stop crying, you can’t do it for them. So smile, tell them you are sorry they feel that way and move on. Chances are, when they realize how unaffected you are they will probably be less affected themselves.
No one is responsible for your child’s behavior but your child. You cannot ‘make’ them behave, but you can facilitate an environment where they feel comfortable and relaxed. So, as a parent it is my job to help my child learn how to behave correctly and respond appropriately to bad feelings. The best way that I can do that is by making sure that they are happy and well cared for.
*Note: Obviously, special rules apply to kids with disabilities and/or other special needs. *
For the last 5 years, I worked as an Interior Designer in Houston. I met with big named builders, spent my time in 6 inch heels and was part of a team of ladies that put a lot of focus on appearance. Being ‘cute' was the name of the game. Then, one month after returning to work from maternity leave I was laid off. Enter the days of sweat pants, showers every other day and washing my hair only once every 3 days because what's the point? I'm not going anywhere.
I was not the only one. One day, I looked around me at moms in the grocery store who were wearing college sweatshirts and house shoes. Their sons had on shiny new Nikes, and their daughters were wearing stylish baby dresses and hair bows. I myself was in my husband's Nike t-shirt (3 sizes too big), hair in a pony tail with 2 inch roots and a pair of year old running shoes. With a cool brown and pink, modern diaper bag I realized that my diaper bag had more style than me. I used to design homes for some of the largest builders in Texas. I used to think pony tails were for...well, ponies.
I vowed at that moment to stop the madness! Staying at home does not make me less of a woman. If I want to take a shower, and the baby wants to play...then she can play on the bathroom floor while I take care of mommy. Sometimes that means she is beating on the shower door the entire time, or worse hanging on my boob while I am drying my hair. But I will get dressed (in clean clothes), I will put on my makeup (at least some mascara and lipstick), and I will not forget that before I was a mom to Rebekah and Bobby I was a designer, a wife, a person. I make hair appointments and tell (don't ask) my husband that I am going. I spend my last $100 on a cute outfit because once the bills are paid and the kids are fed....I am important too.
In the long run, I'm a better mom for it. Now, if the neighborhood kids knock on the door I'm not wishing the kids will be quiet. Instead I open the door, and I go with them out to play. If my husband calls and tells me not to cook dinner because he's taking us out, I am not in tears because it's been a week since I washed my hair and I have nothing to wear.
So, get up...wash your hair and join me in looking cute again!
“Mom, do I have to go? It’s so boring. Can’t I just stay home and ride my bike?” My seven year old son, Bobby asked.
“I don’t really see the point,” my husband, Robert added. “I don’t get anything out of going, and the kids can’t be still. Can’t we just stay home?”
I look at the dishes piled in the sink, Rebekah my toddler who is covered in pancake syrup and the pile of paperwork that I need to finish before Monday morning. I agree, “Okay, but we are going next week.” We work through the day cooking, cleaning and competing with the television and computer for attention. Dinner is delivered by the pizza man. At bedtime, we say ‘God bless mom, dad, Bobby and Rebekah,’ then fall asleep, lazily reciting Hail Marys.
When Monday morning arrived, we hurried to get Bobby on the bus and off to school. Robert spends the week worrying about his job, I am stressed about the dinner party we are supposed to have, and Rebekah has a fever. Finally in desperation I cry out to God from my kitchen table, “Why is everything so stressful for us? Please God, help me out a little.” Through my tears, Jesus speaks to my spirit. “Go to my church,” He says. “Receive my body and blood. Participate in the life of my people. Meet me in prayer.”
He’s right. I know He is. Still in my defiance I pray, “Lord, I’m bored. Church seems so mundane. Stand, sit, kneel, and repeat. Help me, Lord. What am I supposed to do?”
Again, I hear His voice, “He will get up to give him whatever he needs because of his persistence. And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to he who knocks, the door will be opened.[1]” The verbs leapt out at me: get up, ask, seek, and knock. Jesus was there waiting, and I was sitting at my kitchen counter whining!
“Ok, Lord. I see that you are waiting for me to do something. ‘Turn you face from my sins; blot out all my guilt. A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit. Do not drive me from your presence, not take me from your holy spirit. Restore my joy in your salvation; sustain in me a willing spirit.[2]’”
Rather than take up my personal Blog space posting my lesson plans, I created a new blog specifically for the journals, worksheets, lesson plans and presentations I use in my weekly Faith Formation classes. Enjoy!
*This post is not explicit, but the content may not be the best for kids.*
My mom and dad divorced when I was 7 years old. He quickly remarried, and he and his new wife had 2 sons. After 13 years, that marriage also ended. By the time my dad had divorced the mom to my two little brothers, I had moved out of the house. However, they still lived with him. My dad saw the divorce as an opportunity to get close to his boys, buy the house of his dreams and travel. He was excited to take them shopping for new furniture and have people over for barbeques and parties.
Soon after, he was diagnosed with renal cell cancer. I went to the hospital when he had his first kidney removed and met my dad’s new ‘girl friend.’ The kidney was removed successfully, and I was happy for my dad that he had found someone who made him happy. He enjoyed time with his kids, but he said he wanted a woman. Shortly thereafter (months, actually) she moved into his house. She painted the walls, changed the furniture, and she filled the house with pictures of her life and her family. One of my little brothers, who was now 15 came out of the closet and said that he was gay. She threw temper tantrums, saying that she would not go to dinner with the family if ‘he’ went. He was ‘weird’ in her view and she was ‘embarrassed’ to be seen with him. Being gay is a sin, she said, and should not be allowed in our house. All of this came from a woman who was living with a man to whom she was not married to.
Soon, the neighborhood kids would taunt and make fun of this 15 year old boy who was struggling not only with his sexuality, but his self worth as well. His older brother, all jock, would make fun of him and call him names. My dad’s cancer returned, and he eloped with wife number three. They had a wedding and reception to which no one in my dad’s family was invited. Both boys moved out of the house and in with their mom.
My dad spent the next 2 years in and out of M.D. Anderson Cancer center struggling for his life as he battled Renal Cancer that spread to all of his internal organs. He reached out to my brother and took him to buy a vintage blue tuxedo for his school homecoming. He had to keep this secret from his new wife who did not want my dad to have any relationship with his ‘gay’ son whatsoever.
On December 8, 2009 my dad passed away. My ‘little’ brother is now 17 and a still only a junior in high school. He has lost his father and his faith. He has been ridiculed, rejected and abandoned. Sound familiar? Can you think of anyone else who was made fun of, tossed aside and left alone? To my brother I say-you are not alone. It is not heaven that puts you down, calls you names and leaves you. The world does. God loves you more than you will ever know. Jesus understands your suffering because he too was betrayed by those closest to him whom he loved.
To his persecutors I say, remove the wooden log in your own eye before you point out the speck in someone elses. Do not judge, lest you be judged. Yes, homosexuality is a sin. So is judging other people, so is gossip, so is failing to take care of others in need. For he who is least among you all--he is the greatest.
I love my little brother. I love my dad. I love my Lord, and I pray that one day we will all be free from persecution and be able to rest safely in the arms of He who loves us most.
Every Sunday night we sit down as a family at the dinner table and pray before our meal. We light a candle that burns throughout the week so that when we see it, we are reminded to pray for our special requests and each other. Tonight, I asked my six year old son if he wanted to say the blessing. He said that he 'didn't know what to say.'
How many times has that happened to me? We often go through the motions and sometimes it feels like I am praying out of obligation or habit. Sometimes the emphasis is so much on teaching the kids the value of prayer or doing what I am ’supposed to' do that I forget that prayer is an opportunity for me to really commune with the Creator of the universe. It is when I find myself in this rut of prayer that I am reminded that it was me who moved. God didn't. I think about the words of Jesus when he instructed us how to pray in the 'Lord's Prayer.' I remember that Jesus told us what to say, but not how to pray. That is a special conversation that only I can initiate. Through praying the 'Our Father,' I have come to learn that sometimes taking the words of Our Lord into my own mind and heart, I am able to really pray it, not just say it.
"Our Father”
Thank you, God for being my father. Though I may have problems with my earthly father, know that I have a father in heave in loves and protects me. You revealed yourself to me as a father by sending your son. You are not only my father, but you are also the father of all people throughout the world. Lord, guide us with your loving hand. Show us mercy as a father shows his child and direct our paths toward you. Seeing you as a Father enables me to see all of the ‘fatherly’ jobs that you do for me. You guide, protect and provide for me. You love me and you are a father also to all of those that I love.
"...who art in heaven..."
Heaven is a place just as real as the place that I am in now, and one day I will be there with you for eternity. Now however, help me to remember that you are also here. I can see you in the wind, the plants and the eyes of my children. Remind me that you live inside of me, and that you dwell among us. Help me to see the elements of heaven here on earth.
"...hallowed be thy name."
Lord, you are crowned with glory and honor. Your name alone is more holy than I could ever imagine. Help me to become more like you. Help me to turn away from sin, and toward holiness. Jesus sanctified himself through baptism, and I have been baptized in His name. Help me to live up to my baptismal gifts and to never forget your majesty. There are so many names for you that “God” alone does not cover. You are Almighty, Benign, Blessed, Creator, Everlasting, Father, First and Last, God of Peace, God of Vengeance, Great, Helper, Hidden, Holy, Hope, Immortal, Invisible, Jehovah, Judge, Just, Life Eternal, Lord of Hosts, Merciful, Most High, Most Strong, Protector, Redeemer, Salvation, Savior, Spirit, Strength and Truth.
"Thy kingdom come..."
God, your kingdom will one day overtake this world. It began when you created the earth, continued at the last supper and because you fulfill all promises it will eventually come and fill the earth when you send Jesus back in glory. Help me remember this, and help me participate more fully in the Eucharist so that your spirit will fill me while I wait for you.
"Thy will be done…”
Lord, this is one that I struggle with. Help me to remember that YOUR will should be done, not mine. I may not always understand the reasons, but I am not creator of the Universe. Help me to remember that all situations in my life should be handled according to the teachings in Your word, and in Your church. Remind me that even Jesus Christ Himself prayed in your will when he said in Matthew 26:39, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not as I will, but as you will.” Show my your will for my life, Lord. Show me where you are working, and where I need to move so that Your will can be done.
"On Earth as it is in Heaven.”
God, in heaven all of the angels sing your praises. The meaning behind eternal life is that we are not just living for today, but we are waiting for an eternal life in Heaven with God. Lord, I seek your kingdom in all that I am and all that I do here on earth. Unite the churches and people of the world, God so that we can all be as one singing your praises as we will one day do in Heaven.
"Give us this day, our daily bread. ”
In John 6:35 Jesus said, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst.” Thank you God for providing for me and my family shelter, food and all that we need each day. Thank you especially, for sending Jesus as spiritual nourishment. Thank you for always providing for me, and I pray Lord that you always will. Provide for me today Lord just as you provided Moses and the Israelites with bread in the desert. Provide me with the daily bread of your word, and through the Eucharist provide me with the Bread of Life.
"And forgive us our trespasses...”
I know that I have sinned against you God, and that though you created me out of love, through my sin I have betrayed that bond. Show me where I have sinned Lord, so that I may confess my sins to you. God to you I confess the following sins… I also confess sins that I may not remember. I am sorry that I have offended you, Lord and I resolve with the help of your grace to confess my sins, do penance and amend my life.
"As we forgive those who trespass against us…”
Lord, your Word promises that you will forgive our sins if we forgive the sins of others (Matthew 6:14-15). Help me to forgive people who sin against me, and remind me that I am not to condemn anyone nor point out the splinter in someone else’s eye when there is a wooden beam in my own (Matthew 7:3). Help me to remember that you created those people who have hurt me, and they you love them. Help me to see them as you see them. In particular, help me to forgive these people…
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
Lord, my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41). Therefore, help protect me from the temptation of the enemy. Let him lead me not astray, but fill me with the Wisdom of the Holy Spirit so that I may recognize his attacks and see them for what they are. Help me see where I have already fallen prey to his deceit, and help me to turn away from any further sin that will separate me from you.
How about you? How has the 'Our Father' changed your life? What do you do when you get bored in your prayer life?
During this new year, we wives, girlfriends and women at large have a few simple requests.
1.) Don't tell us what we 'should have' done. Yes, we should have made a shopping list before going to the grocery store. However, between the poopy diapers, sore throats, vacuuming....we didn't have time. All you did today was wake up, go to work and come home. Deal with it, and enjoy that frozen dinner for tonight without complaining.
2.) Never underestimate the power of a backrub to cure a 'headache.'
3.) You can't have it all. You can't have a wife, mother to your kids, house-keeper, cook, cheauffer, and bedside maven AND expect us to work full time making as much money as you.
4.) We are not men. It is not our job to mow the grass, paint the kids rooms or walk the dog unless you agree that it's your job to do the laundry, wash the dishes and care for sick kids.
5.) Don't assume we know you love us. Tell us...with words and actions how much you love us, how beautiful you think we are, and how happy you are to be married to us. We promise to do the same.
Today I join the ranks of the thousands of bloggers around the world who are setting their resolutions for 2010. What do I want the year to bring for me? What do I want to leave in 2009? Here are my resolutions for the year. What are yours? Leave your comments below.
1.) I will write a book. I'm not promising myself that it will be good, that it will be the blockbuster of the century or even minute, but I will write a book. I will start it, and finish it. So, does anyone have any suggestions for writing a good book?
2.) I will find a direction for my blog. This goes right along with my book writing. I want to reach women like myself who are broad in their interests. Faith, family, work, education, organization, computing, reading....the list of things that I love goes on. I want my blog to be about things relevant to women, and less about the ho-hum of my own daily life.
3.) I will practice my faith. I confess, I do not make mass every Sunday and Holy Day. I do not pick up my Bible as often as I should, and sometimes my prayers are tossed up to heaven as I drift off to sleep. I will not guilt myself about these things, and instead I will celebrate the ways that God moves in my life every day. Starting with the 30-Day Challenge suggested by a fellow-blogger.
4.) I will make an effort toward a healthier life. Let's face it, if I say I am going to work out at least 5 times a week, eat salad and drink 8 glasses of water, I won't make it to the end of this blog. But I will make an effort. I will exercise more than I do, drink more water and less Dr. Pepper, and occassionally eat a salad instead of tacos. I will remember that there is more to me than a number on the scale.
5.) I will venture out into the world to make friends. In school it was easy to make friends, at work I was burned when someone I thought was my friend, was using me for self promotion. So, this year I really want to make good friends. Women who like to laugh, read a good book and have faith. Women who sometimes let a 4 letter word drop, but draw the line at drinking, smoking and partying like rock stars.
So, that's what 2010 holds in store for me...how about you?
